Off The Beaten Path

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Georgia, United States
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

Thursday, August 21

Feeling Really Blah

I am trying to stay positive, upbeat, happy,..............yeh right. But I am failing miserably. Maybe it is just my personality or maybe it is the fact that I am depressed. Something that I really didn't feel that often in my life, no matter how bad things got, I could always think of something to feel good about. I suppose everyone has something that can make them unhappy, if they let themself think about it to much.

I hurt and am nauseous this morning, and I suppose that isn't helping much. I can't take pain killers, because they tear up my stomach, which is always on the verge of being torn up. I think back to my youth and the things that I used to eat.......well, no more. I can't eat hot foods, or spicy foods, or to much salt, and definitely not anything really good and dessert like. I did manage to make a rhubarb crisp with some of my substitute flours. (And it turned out really good.) I have a mixture of grains that I can eat. It doesn't taste much like wheat, so if you are looking for a exact match to flavors you are used to, forget it. I tried two different times to make homemade bread, and they both ended up in the garbage. It reminds me of my grandma, and her meat substitutes. They might have been edible, but they no way resembled MEAT. She just got used to them. Ana is like her, she is a vegetarian. Now, I love my veggies, but I need my meat. After a week or so of eating just veggies, I need a burger or a steak.

I am supposed to take my neighbor out this morning to the local vegetable garden that sells veggies. But I am really not feeling much like going anywhere. She understands, and if we don't go, she won't be upset. She knows I have to take one day at a time.


Burfica said...

I'm sorry your not feeling well. But drop by my blog again, I posted a funny story about my mom.

or at least I thought it was funny. hahahahaha

I suffer from bouts of depression. As I get older, it gets harder and harder to pull myself out of them. I probably need medication.

Anonymous said...

I wish all the days would take you one at a time instead of ganging up on you!

William ~ The Old Fart said...

Nea ~ I am so sorry that you are not feeling well, I will keep you in Prayer. I hope your spirits are up soon and you are happy again.

Dr.John said...

I have days like that. Days when I wonder if my COPD and arthritis have conspired to make life miserable. Not being well is such a pain.

Nea said...

Hi Burfica, I will be over, I love your stories.... they make me laugh.

and I need to laugh more.

Depression is a hard one to get out of sometimes......never ever had it when I was younger, but lately it has really socked in on me. They put me on medication in 2007, but I hate taking medication, so I only took it for a month, and I finally came out of it, but lately I seem to have more to be depressed about, haha.

Nea said...

Hi Quilly, I have days when it is hard to cope with my own stuff, and then Ana smashes her finger, and Nick gets an assignment to finish by tonight in Social Studies (he has worked two hours and is only half done), and the husband, still doing nothing. I have been nauseated for the last three days, and still have to is really hard to not go in there, yank him out of his chair, and hit him over the head with a pot, and say, COOK something, anything, so that the kids will have dinner. I can fend for myself.....Ana cooked one night, but I cooked the other two, and cleaned up afterwards, changed Nick's bedding, did three loads of laundry, watered all my houseplants, went shopping, and all the while was sicker than a dog. The work load is sure unfair in this household.

Nea said...

Hi bill, I am feeling a bit better tonight......not quite so nauseous....I have had a sick headache for days.

If I could just lay down and get better, but there is always something needing done around here.

Nea said...

Hi Dr. John, COPD is a hard one to deal with I would think, I can only imagine how I would cope if I had breathing problems,(not so well) that has got to be worse actually than what I have. If I watch what I eat, I am pretty much okay. With COPD, you never know from one day to the next how your oxygen is going to be. Not sure it has anything to do with what you do either.

I ate some stew that had wine in it, and that started me off, and I have been sick ever since. I am better tonight. When I start feeling better, I am sure I will not be so depressed. There is nothing like being sick to make you glum.

Eel Wind said...

yeah, we can never substitute meat with others. It's like their unique identity that many things we cannot replace with.

You and I are very sentimental. The feeling of depress just pops up from nowhere and sometimes we just feel sad for no reason. So I don't really know how to cheer you up but one thing which I think will make you feel better is that - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.


Libby said...

oh, nea, ((BIG HUGS!!))
depression is bad enough when something awful has just happened that you've just found out about, but just having that "free floating" depression that's not attached to any certain thing, sucks worse than anything!! HUGS again!