" the huggin tree "I wish I could get another dog.....I want another dog. But for some reason I can't get one. I know that if I did, I would wish it were Lou. I would probably end up calling it Lou, and then if it didn't do all the cute things that Lou did, I would be sad. So out of loyalty and my love for Lou, I just keep wishing I had a dog and let it go at that. I am going to Effie soon, to stay for awhile, and Lou always went with me. I need to be home right now, I have some sorting out to do in my mind, and I do it best when I am in my own surrounding, with my own things. I am thinking about selling the house in Effie, and I need to be there to really know if it is possible. The house has lots of memories, some very good, some not so good, but all part of my life.
I didn't have a happy childhood. And so I married early to get a home of my own, and then finding out that it isn't the way to do it. I ended up married to someone that I really didn't like very much. Hard to stay married to someone you don't respect as a person. So I divorced after four years.
I married again when I was 21 or 22 to a native American Indian man who was about 9 years older than I, had been married before and had two sons by his previous wife. We had two sons of our own, and with Darrin from my previous marriage that made five boys. Life was hard, we never had enough money because my husband was a drinker, but he was also abusive and after fourteen years of marriage I finally decided, enough was enough and fled to Los Angeles. The reason I chose LA, I knew he would never go there to look for us.
I married Tom late in life, I was 38 and he was 48. I had three kids and had no intention of having more until I got pregnant with Ana. Didn't want to raise her all alone so tried for more. I had two miscarriages between Ana and Nick, so I often think of Nick as my miracle baby.
Well that baby is close to grown now, he is 13. Time to make some plans for the future. I always kept the house in Effie, planning to move back there when the kids were grown and I could. They hated the schools in Effie, so it was pretty much impossible to live there. It wasn't a whim, they were pretty rotten schools. There was no music program, no computers, and not sure what they were teaching the kids, but it wasn't on the same par as the schools that they had come out of in California.
I always traveled home with my dog Lou. When he died and I lost contact with David, going home was kind of sad. So I went less and less frequent. My neighbors watch it very closely, and keep an eye on my things. Partly because they want to buy the house, and partly because they are just nosey. But I have never had to worry, there is a police man that drives by twice a day and he also keeps an eye on my place. But still, it is kind of a waste to have a house sitting totally vacant of life, with all of the necessary items needed to live there. I thought I had it worked out while David was there, but little did I know instead of watching the place he was taking things. Easier than getting a job, I guess.
Tom has always known that I intended to return to Effie once both kids were out of school. I made it very clear when I moved back here. But as time has passed, and life has changed as it has, the reasons to return to Effie have diminished.
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