Off The Beaten Path

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Georgia, United States
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

Friday, June 6

Effie

" the huggin tree "

I wish I could get another dog.....I want another dog. But for some reason I can't get one. I know that if I did, I would wish it were Lou. I would probably end up calling it Lou, and then if it didn't do all the cute things that Lou did, I would be sad. So out of loyalty and my love for Lou, I just keep wishing I had a dog and let it go at that. I am going to Effie soon, to stay for awhile, and Lou always went with me. I need to be home right now, I have some sorting out to do in my mind, and I do it best when I am in my own surrounding, with my own things. I am thinking about selling the house in Effie, and I need to be there to really know if it is possible. The house has lots of memories, some very good, some not so good, but all part of my life.

I didn't have a happy childhood. And so I married early to get a home of my own, and then finding out that it isn't the way to do it. I ended up married to someone that I really didn't like very much. Hard to stay married to someone you don't respect as a person. So I divorced after four years.

I married again when I was 21 or 22 to a native American Indian man who was about 9 years older than I, had been married before and had two sons by his previous wife. We had two sons of our own, and with Darrin from my previous marriage that made five boys. Life was hard, we never had enough money because my husband was a drinker, but he was also abusive and after fourteen years of marriage I finally decided, enough was enough and fled to Los Angeles. The reason I chose LA, I knew he would never go there to look for us.

I married Tom late in life, I was 38 and he was 48. I had three kids and had no intention of having more until I got pregnant with Ana. Didn't want to raise her all alone so tried for more. I had two miscarriages between Ana and Nick, so I often think of Nick as my miracle baby.

Well that baby is close to grown now, he is 13. Time to make some plans for the future. I always kept the house in Effie, planning to move back there when the kids were grown and I could. They hated the schools in Effie, so it was pretty much impossible to live there. It wasn't a whim, they were pretty rotten schools. There was no music program, no computers, and not sure what they were teaching the kids, but it wasn't on the same par as the schools that they had come out of in California.

I always traveled home with my dog Lou. When he died and I lost contact with David, going home was kind of sad. So I went less and less frequent. My neighbors watch it very closely, and keep an eye on my things. Partly because they want to buy the house, and partly because they are just nosey. But I have never had to worry, there is a police man that drives by twice a day and he also keeps an eye on my place. But still, it is kind of a waste to have a house sitting totally vacant of life, with all of the necessary items needed to live there. I thought I had it worked out while David was there, but little did I know instead of watching the place he was taking things. Easier than getting a job, I guess.

Tom has always known that I intended to return to Effie once both kids were out of school. I made it very clear when I moved back here. But as time has passed, and life has changed as it has, the reasons to return to Effie have diminished.

12 comments:

Louisiana said...

just as we changed so do our decisions and the way we see things and what we need. i remember a while ago you were thinking about selling when the roof was an issue and than the right answer whether to or not to came to you. if it changes again you will know and it will be okay either way.

much has happened to us it seems. i have lost much fear and from the honesty of your words so have you. i remember when your concern over what was read was very high. i'm glad that you feel the strong woman you have always been and that you fear no one.

i know you feel the need for many answers with all the new changes but you have time hon. don't pressure yourself and don't over stress. often you are hard on yourself but you can give you a break hon, it will all settle into what it is supposse to.

love you. been on the comp lately and i get to enjoy your beautiful words. got a new post up myself and the one is written already.

good to be blogging a bit again.

have fun in E and i think it is something that the hubby is going to. much love.

Nea said...

Hi Chana, so great to see your smiling face again. I will be over your way as soon as I get this posted.

E was always a special place.....but I erased the rest of my post, I got way to personal........for a blog....haha

Louisiana said...

oh hon, it feels like a million bucks to be communicating with you. didn't get the email.

here are the addresses lol...

louisiana@shaw.ca
chanas@gmail.com
briefeclipse@hotmail.com

can't wait to read what you have to say. have a great date with your son. what are you guys watching? the new indiana jones? just saw it last night, my ex husband was nice enough to invite along to a private showing one of his works customers had for them...got the whole theatre and food, nice eh? everyone bought their group, it filled a huge room in a big theatre..lol..

love ya...Chelo saids don't be sad over Lou. Lou will live on in your heart, it is alright to love another pup again when you are ready and someday you will be. until than you got Chelo and me. xooxoxoxo

Nea said...

Chana which one do you use most. I don't think my email went to any of those. Not sure what I used. Makes me wonder where it ended up. Man, I can't remember what I wrote either. I was responding to one of your posts, I think. And it was getting a bit personal, so I decided to just sent it email. I will have to see if I can find it....haha. See what it was I wrote....

No matter where you may roam, I will always be here.....not far from the computer. Unless I go to my Mom's. But I am thinking about getting a laptop. so I will have it even then.

hugs...xoxoxox

Nea said...

Oh, what are we going to see, we are going to Kung Fu Panda......we saw Indiana last week, and then tomorrow, Nick wants to see Get Smart. I told him, Whoaaaa wait a minute, it is 16.00 a pop for the three of us to go to a show. haha Kids!!!!!

I would get another dog, but I haven't seen one that appeals to me.......can't find Lou. haha No really, I am not ready for another dog. And neither are the kids. Not sure if we will ever get another dog. I give all my love to my cat and kids now.

quilly said...

Life is not static. Wants, needs and emotions have a way of changing on us. Even should you decide to sell the house in Effie, you will still have your memories.
About another dog, you are right, you cannot replace Lou, but that doesn't mean you don't have the capacity to love another dog for who it is. DON'T get a dog that looks like you, and you will probably be fine.

Nea said...

haha....I thought about that awhile, and decided you meant, don't get a dog that looks like Lou. I often misspell words, or leave them out completely and so I have learned to read between the lines. Or maybe you did mean don't get a dog that looks like me, hahahahahaha

either way, I think part of what stops me, is the bad days, when I can hardly take care of myself, let alone a house, kids and garden. add a dog to that, and well, it is overwhelming. Lou was a joy, but he was often a bad boy. I have a back porch that is chewed, mangles, scratched, abused to prove it. He was a very anxious dog......if I do get a new one, I think it will be the kind that lays there and doesn't chew ANYTHING. Actually I have one of those, it is stuffed......I still have some of my stuffed animals. haha

Life certainly isn't static is it.......things change so quickly when you get older, it is hard to not get dizzy.....

Louisiana said...

i guess i use the louisiana@shaw.ca the most...probably chanas@gmail.com the second most..but no matter, once i'm actually on the comp i check around them all, lol..

thank you for your sentiments and your words, i know you are always there and i will always have you. i got you too sweet and that doesn't change no matter what. i hope you do get a laptop so you can have a bit more freedom to take the computer outside and sit and enjoy the nice summer weather and for when you go to your moms and do yourself a favor and treat yourself to a Mac, oh my hon, what a difference it is from Windows and how easy they are to get around in, even for me who is no computer all knowledgeable.

have fun with your date. here is 12 dollars to get in the cinema plus any food. everyone pays the same but there are 2 cheap cinemans that show the movies that have moved on from the main ones at 5 dollars per person and on tuesdays and all matinees shows are 2.50 to get in. since the movies are in and out of the main stream theatres, the wait to see them there is barely a month or so so it's not bad at all..

right now for eg they are playing

10,000 BC


21


88 MINUTES



BABY MAMA

FORBIDDEN KINGDOM


HORTON HEARS A WHO

NIM'S ISLAND


PROM NIGHT

STREET KINGS

SUPERHERO MOVIE

THE BANK JOB

Ana is beautiful hon, she looks just like you. i can't believe she graduated already. got to get ready for such thing myself, Jr does it next year...it's unbelieavable that my baby will be going to 12 gr. ;p

don't worry about the email hon. i'm just so happy to get to communicate with you again, i have been gone for so long it seems..

love ya. take care. hug yourself for me. someday we will do this in person sweet.

xo

Nea said...

Hi Chana, it is so funny, Nick went to take a nap and woke up at 1am, haha, no show tonight. He woke up and started putting on his clothes, and I told him, "it is one in themorning. We missed the show tonight," so he went back to bed. haha

We can try it again tomorrow.

Maybe someday I will get to Canada, you just never know.....:):)

Your baby is going into his last year of high school next year? Wow, so you will be going through it also then. It is hard to have them leave the nest, especially when it is the last ones. The first was rough also.

Ana dropped her fish tank with her fighting fish in it tonight. I heard this yell from the basement and she was screaming and I thought something had bit her. got down there and she was running frantically all around looking for her fish. She found it and then she was crying, it is dead, it is dead. I told her, "no, they don't die that quick, here put it in the bowl," and I ran it upstairs and put water in it. He did go through some trauma, but I think he will live, poor Ana she was so frantic. She said she was so sleepy and tired, she shouldn't have tried to clean the tank. She just dropped it. then she had a big ole mess in her room to clean up. She finally got in bed about midnight......she has to work tomorrow, so she was really stressing out.

Well night nite, I am off to bed. Talk to you again, okay,

hugs and kisses. xoxoxox nea

Nea said...

Hi Chana, it is so funny, Nick went to take a nap and woke up at 1am, haha, no show tonight. He woke up and started putting on his clothes, and I told him, "it is one in themorning. We missed the show tonight," so he went back to bed. haha

We can try it again tomorrow.

Maybe someday I will get to Canada, you just never know.....:):)

Your baby is going into his last year of high school next year? Wow, so you will be going through it also then. It is hard to have them leave the nest, especially when it is the last ones. The first was rough also.

Ana dropped her fish tank with her fighting fish in it tonight. I heard this yell from the basement and she was screaming and I thought something had bit her. got down there and she was running frantically all around looking for her fish. She found it and then she was crying, it is dead, it is dead. I told her, "no, they don't die that quick, here put it in the bowl," and I ran it upstairs and put water in it. He did go through some trauma, but I think he will live, poor Ana she was so frantic. She said she was so sleepy and tired, she shouldn't have tried to clean the tank. She just dropped it. then she had a big ole mess in her room to clean up. She finally got in bed about midnight......she has to work tomorrow, so she was really stressing out.

Well night nite, I am off to bed. Talk to you again, okay,

hugs and kisses. xoxoxox nea

Louisiana said...

oh poor Nick, i have done similar too you know..hope you get your date tonight.

my heart breaks for Ana, did the fish make it through the night? i am glad you were the calm she needed to guide her in her stressful moment. just from your story that is evident and also the fact that she is very responsible. what a lady you have raised hon, congrats my lady.

the other night i was over tired, had one of those days with too much happening and then late at night as i was just holding Chelo to put him to bed his stomach started doing stuff i could feel in my hand and then there was this weird noise and i freaked and i started screaming. i think i thought he was chocking or something. first he is little, too he is my baby (totally my baby-i'm in love) and being a first time dog owner i freaked. tears were in my eyes in an instant and Louise runs in and behind her the others and they are telling me it's ok mom, he is just wanting to throw up and just then he did to prove it to me...OH MY GOODNESS Nea, pls laugh with me here for i never have been so happy to see throw up, lol..my heart thought in an instant this little one was dying or something...and yes, i have learned yet one more thing about dogs and me..

silly me and i feel like a total new mom all over, lol...

oh Nea, you should see his little shirts, one saids Stud with the playboy bunny on it and it is red so with his color he looks awesome..he is the attention on anyone who lays his eyes on him...he is so cute. do you think i like him? he, he..


we are lucky and blessed he has bought sooooo much happy and smiles and heart string meltings to our lives and not just us here but my mom (and she ain't that into dogs/pets i tell you), my sis and her kids, my ex husband. since the kids take him and the bird when they go to their dads for his wknd and holidays, their dads family has fallen for him too and there is this one female dog over in that neighbour that his met and plays with, lol..

and in both neighbourhood everyone around us is all in love with him...lol..

hmmm, ok, i like him and this story was to tell you and Ana my heart felt for her panic for i panic with my pet too.

ok, i'm off to my day. i'm off for my first walk in the rain. i love them hon, met some neighbours in the next few blocks who smile and wave when they see me. they say they see it raining and know i'll be out walking lol..they like to see a grown woman dance and skip in the puddles lol..

going on a date with my sister and mother tonight...movies and dinner just for us 3 girls and i'm looking forward to it.

and busy during the day with many errands. but i won't go too far i can't get back to my laptop eventually today.

can't wait to see you, me there or you here, can't wait. until then keep on smiling, millions of hugs and my love to all.

xo
God Bless, feel great today ok.

:)

Nea said...

Hi :):), yeh, she had quite a scare....but all is well that ends well. I guess he is still alive this morning.

that is too funny about the dog....well not funny I am sure, but funny after the fact. I guess the first time a dog tosses his cookies, and him being that small, it must have looked like he was about to turn inside out. You know dogs will eat things that kill them. Look at poor Lou!! I think he got poisoned. So god made it possible for them to upchuck whenever they want to. I remember once Lou ate a whole bunch of coffee grounds, he tossed them up IN MY CAR.

haha

Well we got some rain last night, but it was to late to go walking or I would have loved to. It wasn't a very gentle rain, but I don't care, I don't care how wet I get. And warm, you should feel the air today. it must be 99 with 99 humidity. Whew.

Have a wonderful day. I am so glad that you have been so well lately. That is so nice isn't it.........I have hopes. I see the Dr on Wednesday.....but not sure what new he can do.??

love and hugs, xoxoxoxo nea