Christmas Over Again

I made it through Christmas.   I no longer really care for Christmas now that Tom is gone,  I think he was my motivation, he really liked Christmas and he was a kid when it came to presents.  Our anniversary is on the 23rd so that also makes it a hard month for me.   I did put up a few ornaments and a tree but I didn't decorate the porch like we used to.  But that was mainly because of my bad hip, getting up and down a ladder didn't seem like it would be much fun this year.  I still have the tree up but all of the ornaments are off, just has lights now.  But that is what I like most, the lights.  I will get it all down in a few days, I am still enjoying my lights.  I am very depressed and I think taking the tree down will make me worse.