Off The Beaten Path

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Georgia, United States
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

Wednesday, January 9

The Penguins

Georgia Aquarium

video

I used to have a thing for penguins. I suppose it was because my daughter-in-law Tina was collecting them, so it kind of rubbed off on me. I used to search ebay and yard sales for little ceramic penguins, statues, pictures, or stuffed penguins to give to her. She had quite a collection, so I bought her a four shelf display case to keep them in. That was about 10 years ago. She divorced my son back in about 2003 or 4. I loved her dearly and we had many good times together. (She had Andrew just 10 months after Nick was born, so my son and my Grandson are almost the same age.) Anyway, I can't see a penguin now without a pain in my heart, I still love them, but I don't buy little penguin figurines anymore.


17 comments:

Queenie said...

Its heartbreaking when couples split, for family and friends, are you still in contact? When my son finished with his long term girlfriend, I still continued our friendship, as we had become very close. My son was rather peeved by this, but thankfully they resumed their relationship and now live together. I have a mixture of things I collect, Buddhas, toadstools/ mushrooms and elephants. Ever thought of collecting them for yourself, or would that be to painful?

Cindy said...

This just sounds so sad. I just came from Danielle's and reading about her problems with her father- it seems every family has something like this to deal with. I hope you get to see your grandson often even though his parents aren't together anymore.

Dr.John said...

I know how you feel> we loved my son's wife. we had great times together as a family when the boys were little but after Caleb was born she changed and left Pat. I still feel sad.

Nea said...

Hi Queenie, the last time I saw her, we went to California to visit them, we were there for two weeks, and I knew something wasn't right. I talked to tina, and told her that she would always be my daughter in law and she cried. That was the only conversation we had, she didn't tell me anything. We left on Saturday, she left Scott on Monday. She told me later that she was just waiting until we had come and returned home,for her to leave. She wanted to see us one last time. I tried to stay in contact, but it just didn't work. If I talked to Scott he would get upset, if I talked to Tina she would get upset. It was because they both thought that I was telling the other what they were saying, I never did, but I guess they had insecurities. So finally I just stopped talking to both of them. Then Scott met marisol and they married, now it would just be too awkward.

Tina, didn't just leave Scott, she also left Andrew. It was good for us, because we get to see him all the time since he lives with his dad, but I can't begin to tell you the emotional havoc it has had on Andrew. He was always closer to his Mother until she left. I will never understand her leaving him, although I am very glad that did, otherwise we would never see him. But I have often wondered what would have been best for him, I suppose their staying together would have been best for him. Scott told me that tina just got tired of him is why she left. But I know for a fact that she had a boyfriend on the side. That never works out well for a marriage.

Nea said...

Hi Cindy, I am sure that in every family some "rain must fall." We have certainly had our share. But for the most part things are good now. Scott is happily married, Darrin is happy married, and Trevor is happily married, I am married, haha

Nea said...

HI Dr. John, then you definintely know how I feel. In Tina's case, she was very young when they married, only 17. And I know that they loved each other a lot. but Tina was very emotionally needy, and Scott got involved in his job, he was moving up the ladder, and she felt left out and lonely. I don't know what the answer would have been, she loved the money, but somehow resented his earning it. It was a no win situation for sure. Scott said she just needed more than he could give, of everything. So she finally looked and found someone else. But it left a big hole in me, because I truly loved her. She was good to me, and I was good to her......but she has moved on, has a new husband a new baby. And I truly hope that she is happy. Someday when I am in California I will look her up and have a nice chat. But I won't tell Scott, or Marisol. maybe I will wait until Andrew is grown so as not to cause problems there either.

The Old Fart said...

Some memories are Bitter Sweet Nea, I felt bad for you as I read this. But you have the happy memories as well. Try to think of them and not the bad.

bill

Elween said...

penguin, that's what my friends call me bcoz i am small size with short feet. but you made it sound so sentimental, again. you x contact your daughter-in-law anymore?

Elween said...

nea i wanna thank you so much for the cup of tea. you just fulfilled my dream to buy a music scores that I wanted to buy for so long:) thx you so much :)

Akelamalu said...

It reallly hurts doesn't it Nea? My youngest son and his wife split almost two years ago but thankfully we still have contact with his ex. I treat her just the same as my other D.I.L. and my sons new partner, but it still hurts. xx

BTW I collect buddhas and elephants.

Libby said...

i'm still as close with k's mom & dad as ever, even though i'm not with them on holidays, b'days, etc...

Nea said...

Hi Bill, I do, and I have lots of great pictures. for a long time I didn't post any of them, or even look at them, I felt disloyal to my son. But lately I have missed her more and more, and I got one of those great frames that you can put a memory into and it rotates like 200 or more pictures electronically. They are for my home, so I put some in of Tina.

Nea said...

Hi Elween, that is cute....now I have this picture of a penquin, with your face. haha

No, I don't contact her, I am afraid she might tell Andrew, and he would tell his dad, and then I would be in hot water for sure. I worry to much about what others think.

Nea said...

Elween, you are welcome, I am glad you could use it for something you really wanted. That is what it was for......"your cup of tea."

Nea said...

Hi akela, yes, it is a ache that is rekindled each time I remember how close we were. She was more respectful and loving than my son. She did super nice things for me and I could always count on her to be there. More than you can say for a lot of people. And by the same token, she could always count on me. It was so painful when she wasn't there any more.

Nea said...

Hi Libby, I wrote you an email, because I was so totally surprised, shocked, hmmmmmmmmmmmmm or maybe just wrong?

If you love a person, whether they are still your daughter in law or not, it really shouldn't change that feeling, although it can't help but change the amount of time you are going to see them. And maybe that is what hurts most. I just miss talking to her.....

Avus said...

Such situations are always sad, Nea.
My eldest son split from his wife some years ago, but we see more of her (and my four grandchildren) than we do of that son!