Off The Beaten Path

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Georgia, United States
Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.

Sunday, July 27

Love Letters

What does a person do with old love letters and cards once the person who sent them to you no longer loves you? Do you clutter up your life with old memories and thoughts? I guess a person always thinks that when someone loves them enough to send them love letters it will be forever. Even if a person moves on, why is it that they have to erase all memory of a former love, or lash out and say hurtful things to them? I think it is so that they can let go. Do we ever really let go of love? Should we? Can you be to loved? I suppose there is a fine line between love and obsession, one is healthy the other is not. So to destroy the letters and cards is in its own way a form of lashing out. Maybe it is better to just keep them.

I have a file full of old love letters that I could erase with just one click of the mouse, but I have kept them all these years. Even when I was to the point that I figured the relationship was beyond repair, I truthfully never gave up hope. The problem with the relationship it was built on need, instead of trust. I think that made it a hard relationship to nurture. Needy people get desperate and mean spirited at times. With need comes fear, and you can't alleviate someones fears. We all have them, we have to work on them, and learn to either get rid of them or live with them. It is very unrealistic to expect another person to do that for us.

I can remember so vividly a scene, where I said, "I doubt seriously if you really ever loved me, for just ME," and he got so mad and said to me, "why do you question my love, don't question my love." But where are we now? It didn't stand the test of time and true love must be able to do that. Or the love is at best just a fleeting whim. Well it is over, and I won't blog about it again I guess.

8 comments:

quilldancer.com said...

Sad. Love is give and take and back and forth. IF it isn't strong enough to be questioned, it certainly isn't strong enough to be tested.

Nea said...

Hi Quilly, I guess you know by now, I really don't know what love is for other people, for me it is just a feeling that I don't ever want to say goodby. I could probably write a book on what love isn't for me, but I can sum it up into just a few words what it is.......wanting someone in your life forever. But for most people it is just so conditional. If you give me money, if you give me hugs, if you sleep with me, if you cook for me. I am a totally independent person and I guess I have been since about the age of four......so when someone says to me, "you don't need anyone." Well I guess in a way it is true, but it doesn't mean that I don't want....need and want are two entirely different things. When a person is not independent and is and has been totally dependent on other people for his existance and life, it makes a relationship so lopsided, it topples over. I suppose there is no ones fault really when things don't work out. But in our case, we came into the relationship with different goals, and we took aways from the relationship completely different feelings about one another. For him, if you don't have anything to gain, it is over. For me, I came into it with no expectations, and came away feeling very sad because I could never make it with someone that needy. And I really didn't want to ever have to say goodby.

Queenie said...

With all the different loves in the world, parents,pets siblings etc. The soul mate we'd like to share our lives with is so complicated. In the past I have been told "I love you", and at that time I really believe they did.So I try to hold onto that and remember the moments it was good, cherish how it made me feel at that time. I guess there are no guarantees in life Nea, but hold on to the happy times.X

Nea said...

There hasn't been a lot of love in my life. Not sure I even knew how to handle it......not sure it was true, much to ponder. But it is over now, and all that is left are the remnants. A glass rose, a few cards, some love letter with x's and o's. And memories. I guess they will have to do. It would have been nice if the man I married had been the one that I grew to love. sigh.

Avus said...

Only keep the letters of those whose love you keep, Nea. Let the heartbreak and bitterness go.

The Old Fart said...

Nea ~ you must be happy and if there are things that are making you unhappy you must let them go. I've learned not to try to hold onto the past. It is nice to have the memories as these are wonderful, but one must make new memories as well.

Nea said...

Hi Avus, suppose I do still feel the heartbreak. It comes and it goes......as with all things in the past. Our memories are selective of course, and after time mine selects to only remember the good. So it is often hard for me to even remember why we didnt' make it. But basically I guess we just didn't have fundamentals in common. I have never done a great job of selecting a mate. I should have let EHarmony do it for me, I guess. haha

Nea said...

Hi Bill, as I get older, I grow more discontent with my lot in life, mostly because I see myself in my old age living with someone who doesn't even come out of his "cave." and here I am an outdoors kind of girl. What a strange match I made for myself.